Nine years of gestation

Warning Vertisement by ari volovichtribune News Service |Oct 25, 2021AT4: 53 pm

The days that followed the news of my future fatherhood passed outside me, as a misty landscape seen from inside a bullet train.The expectations and the once themers located in the poetic remoteness, suddenly acquired a more raw dimension, as usually happens when it is flirting with the authentic.Although the pregnancy was clearly desired, the result of a premeditated and weighed decision over years along with my partner, C, the tangibility of the fact leaned me to a new introspective exercise, of those that accelerate the heart.

Far away was that romantic notion that clung timidly to my idea of paternity, where I projected me as an unalterable figure, overflowing with that wisdom, patience and love necessary for the healthy development of the future Homo Sapiens.Of course, every theory vanates which Petard.

Advertisement

I recounted again the negative aspects of bringing a being to this wonderful and atrocious world.First, the overpopulation was, both for my flagrant contribution to this calamity and for representing the origin of all evils, responsible for a good part of the problems that afflict us: the carbon footprint and all its meanings, extreme poverty,the exhaustion of natural resources and the inevitable extension of the oxxo row.

In the end, adding to a breeding to the human project meant exposing it to the most ruins of our species and their respective societies.Of course, all wars freed in the name of God and the atrocities committed in honor of the dollar, the resurgence of fascism in the western world, the return of exacerbated nationalism, future wars for water and the pronunciation of the socioeconomic gaps, they also gavefirewood to opt for the contraceptive pathway.Come on, that to bring a child to this unreasonable and indifferent universe, we must embrace that Olympic denial inherent in optimism.However, and deep down, individual reserves and concerns seemed like those of greatest weight when making the decision.How to explain the most obscene aspects of the human being and convey a favorable vision of humanity without falling into a lie?

Advertisement

However and despite our ability to reason, we remain creatures limited to whim and at the mercy of natural forces.In other words, biological narcissism can more than Newton's reasoning.

Week 6

C and I went to our first date with the gynecologist.Contrary to the experience that perpetuates commercial cinema and complacement literature until the vestío, I felt only an active disinterest when contemplating that amorphous spot that threw ultrasound on the monitor.It was not until I heard the heartbeat that I experienced a sudden link with the gravitational axis of the Earth.My theories had suddenly acquired pulse.I left the office for a long cigar.

Week 12

Our calendar now was officially governed for weeks instead of months and years.It had some logic: each of them was at the speed of a solar cycle and the same amount of events occurred as for a calendar year.Especially for C, clearly, who had been vomiting and resorting to all the Dantesque achas that contemplates the gestational libretto more than 12 weeks.I will never understand why women are preparing to cross such breakdown in order to experience motherhood.If it depended on men, we would give up such a noble company with the simple possibility of experiencing a slight itching in the sobacos.Anyway.

Every week, I saw myself immersed more frequently in moments of my past that I thought lost in oblivion.And, although unconsciously, I tried.These trips to the center of the origin, paradoxically, served to underground the waste of lost childhood.

Week 16

Nausea and vomiting ceased the same way suddenly in which they arrived.C was entering what seemed to be a friendly passage of pregnancy.

The results of the gender test blink in my inbox.I also had my preferences, of course, if I am not the son of environmentalists.I made a new balance of the pros and cons that the genetic chance held me, in what my wife returned.I grabbed my notebook and wrote down:

Reasons why I prefer you to be lesbian

I say this because in general terms, men are hermetic beasts, at least in regard to emotional intelligence;This limits the fullness of our existential experience, which usually makes sentimentally repressed and, therefore: violent and boring.Of course, women have it more difficult, but each hell is measured in relation to the demon in charge and not in contrast to another.

That is clear, I am not saying that men are inferior to women, in no way.I have met many noble men and vile women, as well as exceptional women and nefarious men.Human misery runs along a path other than the chromosomal.But well, at least in statistical terms, women are usually more decent and considered, so I suppose that your chances of getting a couple that seeks you, would improve significantly.

Advertisement

"Let's have a girl!" My wife exclaimed at full lung and the door hit behind the news.I left the notebook aside and offered my person to intercept his hug.

Week 22

In gestational times, on average, 16 years for childbirth day.C broke into the study to tell me that he hired the services of a doula in order to learn the ancestral techniques accumulated from ancient Greece to the era of Tik Tok, and thus copeTo have the emotional accompaniment that would surely be necessary.The first session, he told me, would be in five minutes.

After the introductory part, we move on to a prenatal yoga class.Before I realized, I was sitting in a giant ball and imagining, at the request of the Doula, which had a ternatea click suspended in the center of my groin.Once I managed to solve my most elementary complexes and visualize the deep blue of their petals, I confess that I experienced an unparalleled liberating sensation.I kept the Doula contact.The alphabetical order wanted to place it just below the Díler.

Week 30

C was in the bedroom smearing his belly with pre -Columbian creams and ointments.I tried to put the end point to a text that had come out of my hands, when I suddenly heard a cry that was about to cause a heart attack."He gave me a cramp," C exclaimed, and my blood flow regained its usual rhythm.I massaged his calves to relieve pain and received the message from my friend H, in which I communicated, with luxury detail and excess of solemnity, his most recent loving collapse.Well, it turns out that one of the enormous and inadvertent advantages of gestational paternity is that the torments of your single friends end up stroking your ears like the sweet breeze that runs through Cyprus.

Advertisement

“Wake up, Capullo insane!Romantic love is an invention that the white man sold us to make up the gross need of the species to survive and perpetuate ad nauseam, ”I wrote and deleted, and then share an emoji that communicated empathy and solidarity.

Advertisement

Week 32

Although only six weeks were missing for the birth of my potential lesbian, C and I still could not agree as to the name.And it is said that names are destiny.Well, apart from whether this sentence contains some really, what was true is that at least until then I still had some interference at the origin, so I saw as an ethical obligation to discard Bernardita, Faustina, Faustinaand Franchesca, among the handful of names offered.Of the infinity of battles that couples have to free during pregnancy, that was one that deserved, in my opinion, a fierce defense.We remembered a temporary truce, like all truce.

Week 35

Nausea and vomiting returned.The sweetness that wrapped us which Faisanes in his honey nest, had disintegrated at the bottom of an imaginary clearance.The suffering that entails the creation of a life regained its raw essence.

The jovial voice of the gynecologist suddenly acquired a serious tone after concluding the protocol test battery.The amniotic fluid, clarified, was decreasing and the umbilical cord was pressing the neck of our breeding, in such a way that its heart rate decreased from a moment.My blood rushed in free fall to my feet.I lost the balance and composure.The words of the good doctor seemed too thick to be able to be digested by my ears.I took a seat and pressed the hand of C, who assimilated the new information with the temper of a Yazidi warrior, which was somewhat strange, since I have seen her lose the stirrups with other trivial songs.At that precise moment I got another message from the same melancholy and heartbreak as the previous.

The gynecologist suggested an induction to schedule for the next day."See you at the hospital, guys," he said with a warm smile.C came out with the mood declined;She had fulfilled each of the indications of the doula to the letter in order to be able to carry out a natural birth and thus avoid any indication of obstetric violence, such as touch or filtered drugs.I, for my part, felt very needy of a state -of -the -art anesthetic.

I took a mental note from my response to H: With a fuck, you are already quite eggs to get depressed for a ramplone fiction!Jump from a parachute, travel to a Somali village or ask a good Christian to kick your eggs!What is necessary to wake up the world of capitalism servants!

March 25, 2021

After 60 hours of prenatal sessions that revolved around the advantages of ayurveda over conventional medicine, to the Machiavellian plot that is evident within obstetric drugs and the invaluable beauty of natural births;After 15 hours of a tortuous labor and two nights in candle, C, like so many brave women before her, she succumbed to the mother Oxytocina to finish under the operating room reflectors.

The surgeons argued about the brave resignation of Harry and Meghan to the English throne while tearing my orange to extract a diamond covered with blood.

While C was recovered from the immaculate miracle of birth, the parsimonious flutter of the stork and a transverse incision of 5 layers of fabric, I limited myself to scoring some tips dedicated to Olivia and, incidentally, to any creature that intends to survive in thisExistential plane:

Get away from any unsuspecting to possess the truth.

Do not be afraid to make a fool of.Rejoice because the universe is absurd.

Experience a lot in love since it is a discipline.

Remember that the only sacred in life is childhood.

The most viewed

Try to preserve the sense of humor and curiosity: they are the last to die and the only link with our essence.

AdvertisementAdvertisement Advertisement Advertisement

Photos

AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement